Imus, you pulled the trigger on my heart… How long will Americans continue to jerk off about Barack "Barry" Obama? It is the ultimate status-signaling for whites. Look, I can't be racist -- I support a black for president! Well, mulatto, anyway. Supporting Obama for president is better than pretending to hang out with your black co-worker, it's even better than scathingly (and courageously!) condemning the racism of other whites.
To anyone wishing for an intermission from politics-as-entertainment, Obama is not very good news. He speaks as if he is the star of his own prime time drama: turgid, sanctimonious, and inane. It is very difficult to listen to him without breaking down into desperate sobs over how stupid American politics is, how bottomless are its standards.
Somehow, all national politicians, but especially Obama, have been trained to speak in every situation as if they are confessing their problems to Oprah. Whether delivering the nth repetition of the stump speech, mourning a calamity that has once again ruined the day for stupid people, or celebrating the winner of a spelling bee, they all wax earnestly in halting, moistened, pause-filled pseudo-candor. The faked familiarity and folksiness and soul-bearing is more than I can bear; it is more horrifying than the banality of evil, it is the banality of politics.
Obama of course could not wait to start talking about the Virginia Tech massacre, but beyond a reference to getting that assault weapons ban back in*, had nothing at all to say about it. Instead, he used it to make the craziest segue he could think of, shifting from the violence of shooting people to the violence of calling them "nappy-headed ho's".
True story! Of course this is Obama's main selling point; making sure race is always somewhere in the back of your mind is how he hopes to build a winning campaign. My black "friends" will never call me racist again! So think the race-neurotic whites in his audience. Even though the Imus story is as dead as the majority of Imus' brain mass, it can still provide a rhetorical pivot for the generality-blabbing Junior Senator.
Having linked a campus shooting spree to a tame, FCC-approved insult, it was time for the pants-pissing to begin in earnest.
"There is the violence of children whose voices are not heard…" On he drones, offering a long list of non-violent "violence" which would have fit nicely into a Walter Mondale stump speech, so petrified a form of liberalism it is, so trite and, yes, so phony.
"There's a lot of different forms of violence in our society…" he blabs, having pounded the English language into a mulch of words. "I am my brother's keeper." And quickly he adds, "I am my sister's keeper." Well, why not add a sister to the Book of Genesis? She can make snarky comments as Cain and Abel quarrel over whom God likes better, and stick up for Eve and maybe call into question this whole dubious religious patriarchy. Thank you, Obama, for making even the dullest boilerplate sentiment sound extra stupid.
On and on. Worthy of respect…common humanity…this is an opportunity…provide comfort and healing…parents, families and friends…we have so much work to do…leaving too many children behind…the pay and respect they deserve…our politics is broken…a new spirit washes over this nation…stronger when we are united -- only his itinerary (must spread more hope!) forces him to conclude this banal liturgy. And Obama utters each tired phrase with the self-regarding pomposity of a city councilman addressing a roomful of dying old people. I have a voice like Pericles! he thinks to himself as he says "we must work together" for the trillionth time.
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