The Avengers… The Avengers smashed some box office records.  But why?

I can't get over how ridiculous those outfits look. This is the number one movie of all time? Jeremy Renner looks like a suburban dad who just came out of the closet (by the looks of it he has mixed feelings). ScarJo has a constant expression of annoyance and/or gas indigestion. Captain America is in a world all his own, where gay, dorky, and weird have fused together much like the thousand discrete pieces of fabric and padding that seem to have gone into making his plush outfit. Are those zippers?
 
Thor, with that novelty-sized styrofoam hammer, looks like a cosplayer who won big playing carnival games. I understand that in the stupid movie version of this character, he's an alien, not a Norse god, which makes his getup all the more bizarre. Only Iron Man, basically a robot, looks like he belongs in a battle to save the world--unfortunately it's a world not worth saving. And we've already seen that movie anyway.
 
I keep thinking I'm going to see this movie at some point--I feel like I've been drafted by box office returns--but when it comes down to the wire I think, "Why?" and do something else.
 
I have stronger feelings about seeing the Spider-Man remake, which at least appears to have some heart. Avengers just looks like a massive geek-out.